Finding Peace

Today was the first day since I've been in Turkey that was peaceful. Actually its the first time in a long time that I'm at peace and once again looking forward to the future. I know its four months away, but the thought i've returning to America and trying to start over and settle down doing something I'm not sure I really want to do and try and make it last, tore me between looking forward to it and dreading it. And with today's conversation with a certain someone, I'm really excited for what's coming next. I know I'm always making plans and people always tell me to slow down and live in the moment, i get that but for me its very difficult to appreciate the moment unless i know I have some reason to look forward to seeing each moment through. After our conversation I had some nanny duty to take care of and as i was sitting in Lal's piano school, this tremendous wave of calm just washed over me. Suddenly four months doesn't seem like an unbearably long time. I have goals again, some of which I can accomplish while I'm here. Things are getting better with the family, I had a talk with Zeynep about Lal's attitude and Zeynep talked with Lal and so far it's improved things a little. It was nice to know I had support from Zeynep because up until that point it felt like I was on my own. This may be premature, but I feel like things from this point on will start to get better. Of course there will be the moments, and there should be, but I'm starting to feel like things are turning around.